It’s human nature to make misjudgments about others. Be it our family or friends, we often overanalyze situations and our mind often creates scenarios that might not always be true. While it may not apply to all situations and some assumptions are purely your gut telling you that things are amiss, most assumptions we make can be seriously damaging to the relationships we have with others. Jumping to conclusions without any evidence can not only drain you mentally and physically but it can lead to mistrust and frequently weakens the strength of your bond.

Assumptions might sound like “my co-workers hosted a dinner but didn’t inform me, they must not like me” or “My child said their school is off on a weekday, she must be lying to get out of it”. While the former part of each of those phrases is true, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your interpretation of it is. Your co-workers may have made a spontaneous plan and forgotten to send you an invite. And your child is probably telling the truth. Unless you have solid indication to support your statements, it’s usually better to try and collect facts than rely on your imagination.

Assumptions often stem from you deciding how a person feels and what they’re thinking. You can simply never read someone’s mind and assumptions are subjected to your own personal perspective, which can hardly ever be the same as another individual’s viewpoint.

When you make an assumption or jump to a conclusion, you can lead to the other individual closing you off. The misinterpretation leads to others developing misgivings about you, them becoming less receptive and gradually cutting you out of their lives. Additionally, you can expect tension to be a constant part of the equation. Whether you like it or not, there will always be this unspoken anxiety between the two of you. Every time the other person speaks, they’ll feel uncomfortable, judged or even stuck whenever they’re in your company. However, they are not to blame for the way they feel. You making an assumption sets the tone for how they will perceive you in the future. This will limit them from seeing your good side, the softer more accommodating one. Furthermore, whenever they’re speaking to you they will choose to build up walls or even become extremely defensive. And though you may not want this, but others may eventually start identifying you as hostile.

All in all, suppositions and jumping to conclusions can be extremely damaging. For you and for your relationships. If you’re someone who is quick to make assumptions, then try to remind yourself that the story you’ve made up could potentially be false. If you see yourself doubting someone or something, communicate your concerns to find out the truth or where a person is coming from. If something continues to bother you, don’t just let it build up, speak about it, ask questions and learn to be more accommodating.